The Man Manual - men's health made easy in print. Together we can change that. Our online community. Most gay men will consider bottoming at some time. However, the thought of doing it for the first time can be scary. Use plain, clean water, preferably at body temperature. Avoid using shower attachments - the water pressure can be dangerous. You can get douche bulbs online or from any good sex shop.
Try not to go overboard and irritate the lining of your arse, as this can make you more vulnerable to STIs. Get yourself relaxed with lots of foreplay like rimming or fingering. Some men do use amyl nitrate poppers to relax the muscles around their arse but there are two major health warnings. Any position where your knees are bent and drawn into your chest, whether you are kneeling, lying on your back or on your side, will probably lead to more comfortable sex, or will be a good position to start from.
Use water- or silicone-based lubricants if you're using latex condoms. Avoid any lube with nonoxynol It irritates the lining of the arse, may make sex more painful and also increases your risk of HIV. Look after your arse. You can't get a new one. So know your limits. With time you may be able to take larger objects but there's always a maximum size: about inches diameter the width of your pelvic opening.
Take your time and listen to your partner. This is as much about the emotional as the physical side. Find out what he likes. Ask him how he likes it. Listen to his reactions too. The first time you top, you may be a little anxious. This may make your erection less hard than usual.
Relax β you're both there to enjoy yourselves. If you have erection problems, concentrate on something else like kissing for a while. If getting or staying hard is a regular problem, see our section on ED on page 6.
